Sniper and Spy Fifty Themes
by Ofdensocks
Summary: Fifty themes, some interlocking, centered around our laid-back Aussie and rouguish Frenchman. Rated T for steaminess.


Sniper and Spy- Fifty Themes (set Alpha)

#01 - Comfort  
"Ah, mon cher, don't let it get to you so- if your père does not accept you for who you are, zat is his loss."

#02 - Kiss

As much as Spy liked to brag about how experienced a lover he was and how romance was one of his many specialties, the wild, honest, naked passion with which the Australian kissed him never failed to take his breath away.

#03 - Soft

Sniper could run his fingers through Spy's hair for hours and never tire of it.

#04 - Pain

He could recall every time he'd been shot, stabbed, caught in an explosion, bitten, punched, and cut, but none of them hurt like seeing Spy kiss someone else did.

#05 - Potatoes

"Zose awful greasy things are most certainly NOT a gourmet food- I don't care what zey are called, zey were invented in BELGIUM, not France."

#06 - Rain  
As little as rain fell on 2Fort, and as easy as it was to see coming, Spy never understood how Sniper always managed to get caught in it- he understood even less why it took him so long to come in from it.

#07 - Chocolate  
"I sure's fuck ain't tellin' the rest of th' Team where the Hershey's Syrup went... it was your bloody idea, you do it."

#08 - Happiness  
As miserable as Spy's constant cheating made him, Sniper knew he'd be ten times as miserable if they ever broke up.

#09 - Telephone

Hearing quite enough, Spy yanked the reciever out of Sniper's hand and told the old man on the other end of the line just what he could do with his narrow-minded opinions.

#10 - Ears

"They DO stick out a lil', an' it IS cute, an' that's final."

#11 - Name

It wasn't an overly remarkable name, nor a fancy one, but as Sniper whispered his true moniker into Spy's ear, the Frenchman thought it was incredibly precious if only because he was the only one in 2Fort who knew it.

#12 - Sensual  
"Don't be afraid, mon cher- I am an experienced enough lover for both of us."

#13 - Death  
Not expecting such a harrowing, wrenching reaction to his dead body, Spy promised with guilty sincerity that he'd never use his Dead Ringer to play pranks on Sniper again.

#14 - Sex  
It was no use even trying to have a proper row about it- every single one of their big fights started with screaming and thrown objects and death threats and ended naked and panting.

#15 - Touch  
"Actually," Spy said, tracing the scar on his lover's cheek with one finger, "it makes you look even more rugged, if possible."

#16 - Weakness  
"I... I didn't mean to 'urt you, mon cher, please believe me... I just couldn't 'elp myself."

#17 - Tears  
As his lips touched the crystalline droplet and the slight tang of salt hit his tounge, Spy felt a surge of self-loathing that he was the cause of the tears he was kissing away.

#18 - Speed  
Spy could only hold on for dear life to the 'oh shit' handle of the beat up camper as Sniper laughed and said 'watch me make the ol' gal do 80!'

#19 - Wind  
As punishment for laughing when the sudden gust made off with his prized fedora, Spy had to stay out all night helping Sniper look for it.

#20 - Freedom  
"There's nothin' like it on earth, love- livin' on your wits, the sun beatin' down on your shoulders, the wind on your back, trackin' dingoes through the red rocks an' not havin' a soul around for miles an' miles t' judge you."

#21 - Life  
"I 'ave no idea 'ow you get along being so nervous around people. I'm beginning to doubt you've ever truly lived."

#22 - Jealousy  
Eyeing the BLU Scout's mother through the scope of his rifle, Sniper wished his conscience would shut up long enough for him to pull the trigger.

#23 - Hands  
He traced every little scar on his lover's tan skin with a touch as light and soft as a feather made of silk, shivering softly in delight as callused fingertips ran just as light down his own sides.

#24 - Taste  
Strawberries, champagne, and whipped cream- good on their own, exquisite when used to flavor the lips-and other things- of eagle-eyed Aussies.

#25 - Devotion  
The absoluteness, the depth of feeling that Spy saw reflected in his lover's blue-steel eyes made him feel small, almost unworthy, especially considering what he'd been up to just before he'd come up to the loft.

#26 - Forever

He wanted what Medic and Heavy had so badly he couldn't put it into words.

#27 - Blood  
"Sacre Bleu. Eizzer patch it up for me yourself or call Medic, but don't lick it. Zat's just disturbing."

#28 - Sickness  
As the fever finally broke, Spy's expression of relief was unmistakable even as he remarked that this wouldn't have happened if Sniper didn't insist on staying out in the rain.

#29 - Melody  
'Waltzing Matilda' had never likely been sung so off-key by anyone, but Spy at least attempting to sing it made Sniper feel less homesick all the same.

#30 - Star  
"Number one, mate, you just blew it by tellin' me what it was, an' number two, 'a plate of crepes suzette' is the stupidest wish I've ever heard."

#31 - Home  
He wondered where they would go after the war was over- he knew he couldn't handle life in a city as big as Paris, and he was pretty sure that fancy, cultured Spy wouldn't last a week in his beloved, unforgiving Outback.

#32 - Confusion

Spy didn't understand at all- his promiscuity didn't mean he loved Sniper any less.

#33 - Fear  
He couldn't remember the panic attack very well later, but he could vaguely recall a smartly dressed blur of red with a hand cannon and a knife, singlehandedly driving the crowd of BLUs off and swearing at them for taking advantage of his lover's agoraphobia.

#34 - Lightning/Thunder

As the rain poured down around them, drenching the parched earth, the lightning fell all around and the thunder roared, they stood in it and kissed passionately as a tiny spark flicked between their lips- and finally, Spy understood.

#35 - Bonds  
The rope tightening around his wrists and ankles, Spy made a note never to underestimate Sniper's skills as a hunter ever again.

#36 - Market  
Every time he went into town for something the supply train forgot, Sniper asked if anybody wanted anything- and reminded Spy with exasperated annoyance that the general store didn't carry escargot, caviar, or fresh saffron.

#37 - Technology

There was something incredibly, wonderfully, tittilatingly WRONG about fucking while Spy was cloaked.

#38 - Gift

It was probably the worst serving of crepes suzette Spy had ever eaten, but he devoured every bite as if it were prepared by a five-star chef.

#39 - Smile  
Sometimes Sniper wondered why he put up with all that Spy put him through... and then the rougish sneak smiled at him, and he remembered.

#40 - Innocence  
When Spy suggested 'menage a trois' and got nothing in response but a confused stare over aviators, all he could do was laugh.

#41 - Completion

"Now ZAT," Spy said, panting heavily, "is 'ow you spend a forty-eight hour ceasefire."

#42 - Clouds

It looked like rain again, and they both waited on the roof with anticipation.

#43 - Sky  
No matter what else happened, he would never forget the afterglow of that night in the desert under the canopy of billions of stars, meteors shooting overhead as their bodies pressed against each other, sweaty, dizzy, and exhausted from their lovemaking.

#44 - Heaven

"As much as you make it sound like paradise on earth, mon cher, maybe I ought to see this barren red desert of yours."

#45 - Hell

The absolute worst was making love to him when he still smelled of her perfume.

#46 - Sun

"You do realize I char to a crisp and despise the fact you tan so well, oui?"

#47 - Moon

He may have teased Spy about being too pale, but it made the way he looked reclined in the moonlight absolutely ethereal.

#48 - Waves

They'll go to see the ocean once the war is over, they decide, and maybe get a house by the sea if they really like it.

#49 - Hair  
"Non," he said, running his fingertips through short, dark brown hair, "leave ze hat off for once."

#50 - Supernova  
The end would have come in a great bright burning rush of flame in more agony than he'd care to mention, fading away to some better place where he could run free under blue skies through the never-never forever... but then he heard the tearful voice speaking in French, and though he couldn't understand the words, he knew he was being begged to come back- and for better or worse, he never could say no to Spy.


End file.
